BSPN News: Oceanic stars Ben Cory and Niall Donovan thrown out of club, then arrested

A photo of the nightclub where Cory and Donovan were thrown out of.

While the BMHL itself is struggling to survive, one team has found itself into trouble off the ice. Oceanic forwards Niall Donovan and Ben Cory were both put behind bars after passing out over a police car after being thrown out of a nightclub, and vomiting over a police car and threatening a police officer. They were bailed by GM Kyle Peters the next morning.

BSPN was allowed to interview the two Nassau players. Ben Cory, who was still slightly intoxicated, said the following:

Ben Cory: it was a wild night and it's fuckin bullshit that we got arrested! I don't remember a thing but I know we don't belong in jail, and we shouldn't have been thrown out of that pub at all! The policeman was on duty or whatever, but he had no sense throwing us in here at all. The nightclub is gonna go down, because they just made a big mistake screwing with the Nassau Oceanic!

Cory then fell asleep, before waking up for a second and telling BSPN to "fuck off".


Niall Donovan, seen here lying down next to a fish tank holding an unseen Kalik. Note the leftover vomit stain on the shorts.

Donovan was found at the aquarium at the Mtn Dew Powerdome, the home of the Oceanic and Nassau's biggest entertainment complex as well. He was sitting in a corner next to a tank full of several Queen Triggerfish, and drinking a Kalik. He was banging on the glass loudly and yelling insults at the fish. "It's a cool fish but it's so fucking stupid and useless", Donovan said. After BSPN asked him about the night before, he said "yeah it's not the first time i've been thrown out, but those club guys were dicks. Of course the only thing I remember was when I tapped this hot piece of ass, but I don't remember a damn thing".

Several diehard Oceanic fans came to the club wearing their Oceanic jerseys and t-shirts and have started fights at the club, so far 28 people have been thrown out. So have the Oceanic found a new enemy? The city of Nassau will decide if hockey will win over a popular nightclub.

by Ben Dover, BSPN News

New Official Drink Partner for Nassau Oceanic

Nassau, Bahamas -- There is news coming out of the Nassau Oceanic camp tonight suggesting that Kalik Beer has just signed up as the official alcoholic beverage/drink partner of the Nassau Oceanic.

Party in a bottle

This is an enormous development for the sports entertainment industry, as there are some key stipulations in the contract, the Nassau Guardian has learned. There will be no other brands of alcohol served at Oceanic games, so if you are preparing to get drunk at the game, make sure you enjoy getting drunk off of Kalik. In fact, the only drinks being served, period, will be Kalik beers and Mountain Dew. In order to combat the obvious drunkenness, ushers will be passing out free waters to those who are dangerously intoxicated.

Instead of Gatorade or other popular sports drinks being available to players while they are sitting on the bench, there will instead be free Kalik beer available. In fact, there will be four kegs sitting by either bench at all times, so the players may have their fill. Kalik spokesman Hiram Goldstein thinks this will help the company grow by showing the versatility of his company's beer: "This deal will convince the public that Kalik is a drink for all occasions, even sporting events. So far, market testing has shown some inconclusive results about the effects of seeing players vomiting, so we are thinking of this sponsorship deal as a sort of, real life trial-and-error campaign."

Other mumblings heard around the Mountain Dew PowerDome suggested that prospect defenseman, Niall Donovan, would be the new spokesperson for the Bahamian beer company. He was unavailable for comment, perhaps due to the fact that we encountered him passed out on the floor, surrounded by 35 Kalik beer bottles, mumbling, "I'm gonna fuck you up" repeatedly.

New Kalik spokesman, Niall Donovan

Plans are already being set into motion by the franchise to include Donovan in a fan-based promotion, called the Niall Keg Count-Off. This will involve, during the second intermission, Niall Donovan doing a keg stand while all the fans chant how many seconds he has. Owner/GM/RW of the Oceanic, Kyle Peters thinks this will cut down significantly on running costs, while also keeping the fans entertained. "Niall can keg stand for so long, that this count might end up lasting for half the intermission. That is brilliant for our running costs because we don't need to entertain the fans during that time, we'll just let Niall work his magic. It's a modern-day seventh-inning stretch, if you will."

"We think Niall will be a fantastic ambassador for the Kalik brand, and it only shows our ambition as a company to sign such an exciting, intelligent, thoughtful young player with such a tremendous personality," Goldstein claims. "Also being added to the equation is the fact that he is Irish, which will help our global profile."

Critics of the appointment of Donovan, mostly members of his group, calling themselves the Niallites, had a different opinion. "I've personally heard Niall say that he swears by Guinness," asserted Tricia Haynes, 28, "So this appointment is an absolute abomination. Couldn't they have just gotten Noreika, Cory, or Mayer, all equally talented guys? Why did they need to tear Niall away from his ideals?"

Many questions remain about this ground-breaking sponsorship deal. Will this be dangerous? How will the players react to being served Kalik constantly? Will Niall Donovan remember any of this in the morning? All of these questions are yet to be answered, but suffice it to say, exciting times are coming in Nassau.

By: Bubba Gump - Official Nassau Oceanic Correspondent

Pre-Season Excitement Builds For the Nassau Oceanic

Nassau Oceanic main logo

Nassau, Bahamas -- Although the upcoming BMHL season has yet to start, there is a buzz building in Nassau, where for the first time, a minor league hockey team, the Nassau Oceanic, will play. There are minimal expectations from major media outlets for the newly arrived team, imported this season from Caledon. However, there are many in the organization and fan-base alike who believe that this team could make quite an impression in it's debut season.

Says general manager/owner Kyle Peters, "We have been working tirelessly for this opportunity: to bring a BMHL team to Nassau, and now we are trying to do things the right way. Planning for this season has been going on for years; we've had to work with the local government in Nassau in order to build our beautiful new arena, the Mountain Dew PowerDome, complete with all the amenities a modern-day sports spectator would expect, and more. We are especially excited to have an aquarium in the arena, as this will bring out the young folks and increase revenue even in the offseason."

New child-friendly interactive zone in the arena, one of the many features of the Mountain Dew PowerDome

Although a few other teams in the BMHL have had a bit more history than the Oceanic, that fact is not a deterrent for new coach, Julien Baril. "If anything, the fact that we are completely new gives us more of an edge, because other teams can't come into our arena expecting a certain kind of game. We can throw all sorts of different game-plans at our opposition, whether it be to rough them up a bit, or play more of a pressing game, we can mix it up. We have no history we need to live up to either, the current players we've brought in are able to write their own legacies."

And already, there has been evidence that the new crop of Oceanic players will be quite a special group of hockey players.

Assistant general manager Zack Pittman explained the Oceanic philosophy towards draft picks in the recently completed BMHL draft. "We looked for players who would help improve the team first and foremost, but also importantly, who would invigorate the fan-base."

Even now, weeks before the season will start, local hockey fans are getting excited by the prospect of seeing Dominykas-Antanas Noreika, Ben Cory, Tristan Mayer, Valtteri Viltala and the other draft picks in action.

One player in particular who has captured the imagination of the new Oceanic fan-base is recently signed, hulking undrafted free agent left defenseman, Niall Donovan. This reporter got a chance to talk to some of Niall's recently acquired fans during a recent trip to the city center. "I've seen him out on the town a couple of times since he was signed, always the center of attention thanks to his permanently red face and booming laugh," claims Jacky Thomas, 23. "He just looks like a hockey player, but he's very down to earth and always ready to do bar chugs with anyone who challenges him. He's pretty nuts too." Adding to his friend's point, Willie Summers, 22, says, "Yeah, I've seen him fight off muggers, challenge stingrays to wrestling matches, and down a handle of Jameson in 3 gulps. Well...I heard that."

Some of Niall Donovan's newly acquired fans. Cult hero in the making?

All of these accusations/accomplishments simply add to the allure of Donovan. Even Mr. Peters concedes, "Niall is one-of-a-kind. He is a special breed of human, or maybe he's not. I still haven't figured him out yet. All I know is that I wouldn't like to come across him on the ice." Neither would we, but you will have the chance to see him play this upcoming season for the BMHL Nassau Oceanic. Get your tickets today and support your Oc's.

Written by: Bubba Gump